stjimmyrocks

call me Jren or J

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Liminal Depression by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Liminal Depression

liminal depression your ecstatic expressions are lost on me when I see your unreachable face my eyes glisten I wish you could reach into my mind and read all the thoughts I’ve left behind unspoken you might be surprised at how long I can listen when you pour out your thoughts to my open ears and your open arms were always my favorite place to be and you know you can always stay over and you know I love you more than anything even if I can’t bear to show it liminal depression when I can’t tell you everything I think anymore and honestly I never could though I wanted so badly to try I’m afraid of everything you say and

Letting Go by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Letting Go

burrowed deep down, below the ocean floor no bubbles, roots, or toxic gas can reach us anymore and so we lie in waiting, listening to the sonar sound we had to get so far away to escape the fear of being found deep down, deep down, where our dwellings are so small if it weren’t for bodies we would have no space at all through the cold we’d shiver, and through the dark we’d cry we let go of everything that made us who we are inside we kept pieces of everything the way we lived our lives before inside every object was a story that spoke more molded from clay, another thing to keep away from prying eyes please let me in, they

Sometimes by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Sometimes

There’s so much time left Sometimes I think I could do everything and forget this Sometimes I think I could break this addiction I keep telling myself There’s so much more All these colors lined up To build a perfect world Now I’ve colored myself into a corner And I can’t seem to find the exit Racing, traveling To another place that can’t be found So far away But only in the mind If only we could reach… The places we’ve built Get us only so far They only serve us for so long Those places we’ve built Are not meant to be lived in The places we’ve built Get us only so far Those places w

A Million Faces by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

A Million Faces

In a sea of a million faces I search desperately for the only one I want to find although I know you won’t be there. In a million faces with a million hearts, I could bond with any one of them Any one of them could be my everything— But it was you I had to choose. They grab for my hands, try to help me by hugging me tightly to their hearts— But I pull away. I don’t want them: They can’t help me like you can. I try to distinguish any one in the mass of faces… But they all look the same to me. I keep trying to choose… but none of them are you.

Absence by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Absence

Only handfuls of mud splatter against the canvas when your muse is the absence of your lover The papers are crumpled The sheets painted with dry tears The stifling cave in which you are the only occupant grows smaller yet emptier The hands you dream of feeling caress you will not again —at least not for a while The eyes you wait to wake up to won’t be there when you do And the smile that distracted you from all else lacks luster in reproduced memories To think you could predict your heart To think you could protect your soul from anything as strong as this can only be named folly or perhaps naïveté but what wo

Bullshit Ghost by stjimmyrocks, literature

Captive by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Captive

shattered picture frame glass and leftover nails strewn across the floor broken fingers reach though the air not much left of jealousy when we’re only focused on finding a way out between the masses of tangled wires in the walls the bricks would hurt us if only they did crumble and fall we peer through the chain links between the school and the cemetery where the graves look at you like eyes so that all the little ones are afraid our feelings are left gray, like those cold, shaking fingers if only the chains would rot away then maybe we wouldn’t have to wait so long if only our flesh would not rot along with them and we’

Dreams by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Dreams

just trying to find my way but this sea is getting smaller and I’m drowning in it why couldn’t you help me? only a few years farther than I yet I can barely touch you why are you always so far away? I guess it’s really my own fault it’s always my own fault cradle me in your arms please I couldn’t ask you to help me hide but I need you to help me escape myself I wish you would let me live by your side while your dreams flow through me it’s all I wanted

Dysfunctional by stjimmyrocks, literature

Holding You by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Holding You

holding my phone to my chest and with it, the thought of you my hands pinching the warm fabric pressed over your back my chin tucked into your neck, my cheek to your shoulder your hair curling up against my closed eyes so close… I can smell the soap you used this morning hear the crackle of your smile because we are together again please don’t forget me the way it feels when we hug each other is a feeling to remember the echo of your voice is always a reminder of hope when I’m holding the thought of you in my mind

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Liminal Depression by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Liminal Depression

Letting Go by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Letting Go

Saudade by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Saudade

I missed the mark and went too far show me where your sorrows are I would that I could make you speak but like the mouse you are mute and meek a destiny, like a river flows your grief upon your face now shows laughter gives but a brief return to life before when there was much to learn to touch you is perhaps to break the hedge of thorns you put up for me to take I try to guess at why you are ill though I am haunted by the memories still of when you would not even move it felt as if you had a thing to prove oh, give me hope you will one day come back or that you will gain what it is you lack tell me what it is you fear when you slip away wh

Will They See The Milky Way? by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Will They See The Milky Way?

The stars have been sprinkled onto the sky like spices Wonder blossoms anew from its weathered bud Tears force themselves out, prickling my eyes like Oil from hot chili peppers left on my tongue The pinpricks of light that dance upon the ocean’s surface Were freer than the reflections of apartments across the harbor; The blocks in which we dwell, encapsulated, Under the smog of humanity The cars rumble while traversing through grids Navigating like ants in tunnels of their creation Weaving down the highway Ducking beneath an underpass Looking out upon the many patches of electric light, And how each one houses some story, I cannot

We Die all the Time by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

We Die all the Time

Through the door of my meaningless unreality welcome to the hell behind my eyes a bitter vacationland; a black serenade A wasteland filled with lies Liars creeping about on their spindly legs not yet stuck but they will be soon We are trapped in webs of our own making Yet we do not know how to get loose We peek into here and we peek into there watch their skill with instruments of pain a room crafted entirely from needles We’ll die slowly and be reborn again Wings fluttering we try to escape with the birds but we know, even they can only go so far even they have short lives, and will die someday soon but we die all the time

You by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

You

There is nothing more I want to do Than keep you locked inside my room I could never let you loose Because I need you (I need you) You are mine- I won't let anyone Take you away from me I take my time- But you take it away from me Every last second Every drop of my soul I'll bleed out and give to you Until I am whole (Part of you) Any last place I could ever call home I'd stay away from to follow wherever you roam Discard any last wish from my former life Until all that's left is you I love you, I love you Too much and I couldn't leave you if I tried Every regret Doesn't mean anything When I have you- Every plea doesn't stand a chance I

A Great Day To Be Alive by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

A Great Day To Be Alive

Fluttering crystalline butterflies Alight on painted poppies The clouds are tufts of cotton candy Smudged onto yellow sky The waving grass is green and blue Purple trees have hard rough bark But their branches tip to touch the grass Here everything is new I lie on my back in the smooth sea of grass Gazing up at the bright hazy sky Happy valentine birds chirp from the trees It's a great day to be alive The clouds lazily drift on by The tree leaves tickle my fingertips The taste of red sweetness fresh on my lips Sunshine on the edge of my eyes The sparkling butterflies rest on their poppies I pick a handful to hold while I lie

Ease Into Numbness by stjimmyrocks, literature

Mindless Art by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Mindless Art

Entertainment. I cannot deny that there is some art in it, But it is easy art Art to sing sweetly to the eyes and Appeal to the weakness inside Art constructed to satisfy, to please. Were I to change that art, I would have it shine Brightly in your eyes Casting a shadow of churning interest upon your brow. The spark of a feeling growing depth That couldn't have sprouted before now I would sit, enthralled, And watch your face Change Twist, in confusion, watch the Horror, eating itself across your skin Your eyes spreading wide in surprise I would listen for your Gasp of sharp awakening to a new vision Inside you peaks realization of the

Earth Eater by stjimmyrocks, literature

Literature

Earth Eater

Bitter taste of sweet dark dirt Sticky clinging clay, Damp fragile soil, and Dry, dusty sand Licking painted, earth-smeared fingers Dirt pressing up under her fingernails Pale roots holding fast to crumbling chunks Leaves of unwanted weeds reaching out to the sun Her hands leave darker smudges On her face When she rubs away the sweat Her damp creased forehead Reflects how long she worked She laughs at how you moan at her filthiness She delights in getting coated in dirt She revels in it; she loves it If there's one thing she likes more than eating earth It's you

Deviation Spotlight

Bend by stjimmyrocks, visual art

Bend

stjimmyrocks

About stjimmyrocks

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Artist // Hobbyist // Varied

May 3, 1997
United States
Deviant for 13 years
jrendesigns.com
They / Them

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My Bio

Hi! I'm Jren. It's an androgynous name I came up with, combining the names Jen and Trent. I'm non-binary, and I use they/them or occasionally he/him pronouns. You can call me dude (I call everyone dude). If you have a question, just ask me anything you wanna know.

I'm a graphic designer and freelance illustrator, currently based in Boston, MA. This DA is super old, so bear with me while I delete ancient posts and add new things from my instagram, @ rabenfedercraft.

My interests include the following:

ART (so broad, I know), MUSIC (see a few genres below), books (mostly comics and graphic novels nowadays), German language and culture (I majored in German and Studio Art), graphic design (surprise, I'm a graphic designer), playing violin, mandolin, and electric guitar, anything sci fi or sci-fi horror, most things dark and disturbing, climbing, archery, ultimate frisbee, rollerblading, dyed hair, tattoos, LGBTQ+ rights, hiking, geocaching, traveling, learning about other cultures (languages, religions, etc.), philosophy, psychology, linguistics, dreaming.

Current obsessions: Enamel pins, succulents, gundams, graphic novels.

My current goal is to turn my Peacock Kitsune design into a real enamel pin- Kickstarter launches March 1st, 2021!

Favorite genres of music: industrial metal, folk metal, melodic death metal, alternative metal, most forms of punk, grunge, EDM, and "alternative rock"- which basically incorporates all of those (then also jazz, classical and fiddle music; I'm pretty open to most things)

BANDS I've seen live:

Green Day with AFI, Judy Collins, Flook with Grada, Kronos Quartet, David Byrne with St. Vincent, Roomful of Teeth, Napalm Death, Tengger Cavalry, Slayer with Amon Amarth, Cannibal Corpse, and Lamb of God, Mystery Skulls with Snowblood, and Phangs, 3Teeth with Author & Punisher, and Gost, Breaking Benjamin with Three Days Grace, Chevelle, Dorothy, and Diamente, Metsatöll with Arkona, Demons and Wizards with Lizzy Borden, and Tyr, The HU, Kataklysm with Exhorder, Hatchet, and Krisiun, Eluveitie with Korpiklaani, Revocation, and Gone in April.

Favorite style of art: so many...but I really like surreal art, trippy art, gothic art, graphite pencil drawings, and anime style... I love things that really make me think about what I'm looking at. I love the ICA in Boston.

Favourite Movies

Prometheus, Mad Max, Interstellar, Run Lola Run, Metropolis, Fight Club, The Guitar, Cloverfield, Pink Floyd: The Wall, The Crow, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (both versions), Trainspotting, and in general sci fi/horror/suspense stuff

Favourite TV Shows

Bones, The Simpsons, South Park, Star Trek, Futurama, Breaking Bad, The X-Files, Doctor Who, The Twilight Zone, InuYasha, Mushi-shi, Durarara, Death Note

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein, Green Day, The Clash

Favourite Books

Cather in the Rye, Call of the Wild, Frankenstein

Favourite Games

Currently Genshin Impact and Pokémon GO